Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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