We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
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Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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