I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
