We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
