I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize