I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
