Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is Oprah even human
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sorry about my life...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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