...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
