I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
