A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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