Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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