THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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