if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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