I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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