There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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