All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize