so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
