if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
