the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
