I don't usually arrange sex via text message
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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