If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
