Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
