Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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