But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
