so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
