Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my phone needs a breathalizer

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  (413): my phone needs a breathalizer http://tfl.nu/d0rn
  Replies (15) Good night (2286) Bad night (583)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.

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  (908): i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it. http://tfl.nu/dy81
  Replies (23) Good night (861) Bad night (1476)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother

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  (806): Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother http://tfl.nu/jjym
  Replies (7) Good night (2784) Bad night (1424)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.

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  (732): i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry. http://tfl.nu/ss0l
  Replies (13) Good night (8629) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.

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  (415): It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year. http://tfl.nu/fhgz
  Replies (19) Good night (5889) Bad night (1356)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.

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  (716): Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan. http://tfl.nu/rfh9
  Replies (4) Good night (1831) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.

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  (231): My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/e8qk
  Replies (7) Good night (1741) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.

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  (203): we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date. http://tfl.nu/dia7
  Replies (9) Good night (761) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.

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  (306): My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover. http://tfl.nu/l5g3
  Replies (3) Good night (716) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.

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  (360): I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this. http://tfl.nu/abfh
  Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (457)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.

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  (252): Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question. http://tfl.nu/ellm
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.

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  (405): there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this. http://tfl.nu/t3uy
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.

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  (573): Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car. http://tfl.nu/jvos
  Replies (1) Good night (293) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.

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  (402): Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building. http://tfl.nu/eh2u
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.

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  (402): There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans. http://tfl.nu/d410
  Replies (4) Good night (780) Bad night (253)

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