Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem

  (914): View more from New York

  Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem (914): Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty. http://tfl.nu/8j05
  Replies (53) Good night (7455) Bad night (2508)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina. http://tfl.nu/zhac
  Replies (5) Good night (932) Bad night (3040)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar. http://tfl.nu/xoz4
  Replies (3) Good night (2735) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it. http://tfl.nu/dkcw
  Replies (7) Good night (2623) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME http://tfl.nu/jm4f
  Replies (5) Good night (1279) Bad night (2230)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar http://tfl.nu/g47h
  Replies (7) Good night (1905) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that..... http://tfl.nu/0b0j
  Replies (3) Good night (1425) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents. http://tfl.nu/vupc
  Replies (17) Good night (2755) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures. http://tfl.nu/juvj
  Replies (8) Good night (2794) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/o66a
  Replies (4) Good night (1196) Bad night (1404)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me. http://tfl.nu/xmpj
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower? (1-708): head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way http://tfl.nu/d98n
  Replies (2) Good night (1542) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed. http://tfl.nu/l8pu
  Replies (6) Good night (281) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring. http://tfl.nu/2xnf
  Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  okay we need to get tested.

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): okay we need to get tested. (1-732): no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride. http://tfl.nu/uj9n
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (491)

Randomize