I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
