I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down