Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Randomize
