that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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