I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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