So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
you made out with another girl for some wings
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize