Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
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Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize