Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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