I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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