Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
