and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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