Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
