Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
