with your own penis?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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