If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
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so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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