i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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