i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
