NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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