hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
