we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm getting married
To pizza
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
