The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
