Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
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Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
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The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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