I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
