he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
