i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize