Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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