So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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