who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
