Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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