I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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