guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
