Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize