wanna go halves on a baby?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
