Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
