Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
