Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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