so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
How's work?
Spinning.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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