come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize