He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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