Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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