so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
