this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
