Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
