with your own penis?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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