only if we run a train.
done.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
