omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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