..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
